Of Journeys and Justifications
by TheWingedWhispered
Summary: Harry Potter and John Sheppard separated under less than ideal circumstances. John realizes that something is wrong and returns to Earth to search for him, but it turns into something much more for all involved. HP/SGA. Slash. Sequel to OMM.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: **Not Mine

This story is the sequel for **Of Misery and Mystery**. I recommend reading that story first.

This story contains slash. It is a crossover between **HP** and **SGA**.

Thanks to my beta, **Phoenix Catcher**.

Please review!

* * *

**Of Journeys and Justifications**

**Chapter One**

Harry Potter sat in the middle seat in the back of the car, between two other men. The driver's and passenger's seats were also occupied. He tried to buckle his seatbelt, but gave up after a minute. He looked around, confused, and wondered where he was and how he'd gotten there. He tried to ask the man next to him. The man put his hand atop Harry's head and continued to stare straight ahead.

/\ \/ /\ \/ /\

Lt. Colonel John Sheppard and Dr. Carson Beckett sat together on the balcony outside of John's room. John unwillingly recalled seeing Remus Lupin propelled over the railing by a gunshot and Harry Potter vaulting over the railing after him. The recollection was enough to make his heart race. John felt the beginning of a headache approach. He rubbed his eyes and the action drew Carson's attention to his face.

"You're exhausted," the man said gently, "Is your insomnia getting bad again? Is-"

"Loneliness isn't a medical condition, Carson."

"Don't tell me my craft, John," Carson rebuked gently.

The comment drew a half smile from John, but it was short lived. He couldn't be bothered to keep up the pretense in front of Carson.

"I don't need to tell you that you're right. You know you are. I know you are. But I can't see what there is to be done about it. He's not dead. I can feel it. I know that. But something's wrong, Carson. Something is very wrong. I can't find him. I can't connect with him."

"I could make it easier for you."

"And it might very well make things for difficult for Harry. I can't risk that. I won't, no matter how bad it gets."

Despite Carson's medical concern, John got the feeling that Carson was pleased by his consideration of Harry's situation. Like nearly everyone else he had encountered in the magical world bar a few, Carson had a soft spot for Harry Potter. Harry had been a friend to his sister Evelyn and tried to protect her when the Death Eaters came for her and their family. Since then, Harry had done his best to continue to look out for the youngest Beckett who was now a Brother in the Monastery.

"We could look for him."

John's gaze fell on Carson, "What?"

"We could go back to Earth and look for him. We both have leave coming up. We could gate to Earth, look for him and return with the Daedalus. We shouldn't have a difficult time locating Ms. Lovegood. She may very well still be with General O'Neill, especially if the violence has continued. If she doesn't know his exact location than she help us locate him."

"We. Us," John smiled at the other man, "I see you intend to come with me."

Carson was quiet for a moment, "I owe Harry a great debt. My life and Euan's as well. I consider him a friend and you as well. There is no question that I will go with you unless you refuse my company."

John smiled.

"And I'm not exactly bad with a wand either. You're progressing with your Ancient powers, but you might do well to have someone watch your back."

John's smile lasted this time, "Thank you, Carson. Of course I'll be glad for your company."

Dr. Weir gave permission for both John and Carson to return to Earth for leave, although neither of them mentioned their intention to go looking for Harry. John began to count the days until he could return to Earth. Aware of her opinion on Harry and his actions, John gave up trying to convince her and anyone else on Atlantis that Harry was not their enemy. On this issue, he trusted only Carson. He felt he could probably trust Teyla as well, but was unwilling to risk it. He'd never felt so cautious and distrustful of the people around him and he strongly disliked it.

He passed the time practicing his Ancient powers and watching Carson test magical attacks against preserved Wraith cells. Both of their projects were slow going. John's biggest problem was finding the privacy to practice. Since his return to Atlantis, he'd barely had a moment to himself. Carson's problem was he was hesitant to cast some of the darker spells that seemed most likely to do serious damage because he'd been raised to view them as cruel and unforgivable. He'd taken to muttering to himself in the Old Tongue while he was working which both amused John and helped him to remember the language that Carson's younger brother had begun to teach him.

The day before he and Carson were scheduled to return to Earth, Dr. Elizabeth Weir called John into her office. He tried to hide the discomfort he'd felt around her since his return to Atlantis. Every time he looked at her he heard Harry's voice.

"Because we belong to very different worlds," Harry had told him before the first time they had sex, "I cannot keep you away from them forever. Eventually, they will demand that I return you. We both have a duty to our people."

Elizabeth smiled at him when he entered her office, but it wasn't like before. She had trouble understanding this new John. He was the same, but he was changed in little ways. He was wary around almost everyone except Carson and Teyla. She found herself regretting not for the first time the pressure and questioning she had forced him to suffer when he first returned to Atlantis. And the pain he had suffered before leaving. But she knew something was still going on with John and it involved Harry.

"Teyla is returning to Earth with you. She's expressed an interest in learning more about our home and our culture."

"I see."

"I trust this doesn't interrupt any plans you already have?"

John shook his head, "Of course not."

She smiled again, "Thank you, John."

After excusing himself from her office, John went to look for Carson. He waited until the other man was finished with his current patient for having a quick word with him in his office.

"Apparently Teyla is coming with us."

"Why?"

John shrugged, "I don't know. Maybe Elizabeth is worried I'm going to disappear again."

"Well, I don't see what she can do if you chose to."

"It's unwarranted. I'm not going to abandon my post or my men."

"Then we'll just do the best we can to keep Teyla unaware of our true plans."

It was easier said than done. From the moment they got to Earth, John had to go to the bathroom to escape Teyla's presence. Finally Carson left to see what information he could gather while John gave Teyla a tour of the SGC. Carson returned a few hours later with a young blonde woman that he introduced as Lt. Jennifer Hailey. He made up some excuse that John didn't even listen to in order to get Teyla to leave John and go elsewhere with him.

"Dr. Beckett told me that you're looking for Luna Lovegood, Colonel Sheppard. But I knew already knew that you'd be coming here on this day. Luna knew and she told me ages ago. Before she'd even met you, I think. She told me you'd come here and ask me to take you to her."

"Why you?"

"Luna and are friends. I'm a squib, sir. Do you know what that is?"

John nodded.

"Luna's been quieter than usual. I asked her about Harry, but she refused to say anything. I don't know if you're aware, but he hasn't been seen in sometime. People are starting to whisper that he's dead and Bellatrix Lestrange is encouraging people to think that she killed him during the assault on Grimmauld Place, but she hasn't offered any proof."

"He's not dead."

"I'm glad to hear that, sir. The situation in Britain is bad."

"Thank you, Lieutenant. Is Luna with General O'Neill?"

Lt. Hailey shook her head, "General O'Neill was called back to D.C. Luna stayed here. I have a car on base, sir. I can take you and Dr. Beckett there."

John sighed, "And Teyla."

Lt. Hailey nodded, "I'll meet you topside in thirty minutes if that's alright, sir?"

"Thank you, Lieutenant."

John found Carson showing Teyla around the commissary and explaining the names and ingredients of different dishes being offered. Teyla was feigning polite interest. John watched them for a moment and wondered what to do with Teyla. When no opportunity presented itself, he decided he'd have to tell her and hope for the best. He walked up to the pair and spoke directly to her.

"Teyla, Carson and I came to Earth to find Harry."

"Sweet Merlin," Carson muttered as he cast John as disparaging look, "I could have done with some warning before that."

"Lt. Hailey is going to take us to see a woman called Luna. She's Harry's cousin. What Dr. Weir doesn't know is that my superiors here know Harry and were aware of my location the entire time I was away from Atlantis."

Teyla nodded slowly, "And how does Carson know your friend Harry?"

Carson spoke softly, "He was a friend of my late sisters. He tried to save her, but a gang of terrorists murdered her. My brother and I would have died with her if it weren't for Harry. He's a good man, Teyla."

"There still is something you are not telling me."

Carson and John exchanged glances and John spoke, "We'll tell you on the way to see Luna."

As Lt. Hailey drove, Carson and John gave Teyla a very abridged explanation of magic and the war between wizarding factions in Britain. She took in all the information calmly and none of her questions for clarification expressed any doubt and John wished he'd had the courage to tell her all of this on Atlantis. He should have known he could trust Teyla.

Once at General O'Neill's house, they found Luna in the hammock in the back yard. She stood up from the hammock and stared at John, seeming not to comprehend the others with him. She approached them slowly, not bothering to hide the shaking of her hands.

"John, have you come to tell me something?"

"We came to ask if you knew where Harry is. Christ, Luna, are you okay?"

A sob escaped her lips before she could cover her mouth with her hand. She wiped away the few tears that escaped from her eyes.

"I thought he was dead. I thought you'd come here to tell me he was dead."

John put his arms on Luna's shoulders and drew her into a gentle hug, "He's not dead, Luna. I know that much."

Her sobbing grew into hysterics and she was barely able to speak through her gasping, "I've been…I've been having dreams. I thought he was- Merlin, I thought he was already dead. Thank Merlin," she whispered, "It's not too late."

"What dreams? What do you mean?"

Luna met his gaze, "I don't understand them. He's in different places and he's looking around, confused. No one notices him. He's completely terrified. Sometimes he's screaming. Harry's never been scared of anything in his life except three people. But he's terrified."

"But you said its not to late," John questioned.

"There is a very real chance that Harry is going to be in mortal danger in the near future. I thought it had already happened and that he was already dead. But if you say he is alive, there's still time."

"He's in danger on a regular basis, Ms. Lovegood. What makes this different?"

Luna turned to Carson almost as though she noticed him for the first time, "I know you. You're one of the Beckett men. Carson, right?"

He nodded.

She spoke again, "I don't know exactly what makes this time different. He isn't going to survive this one. Not with the way things are headed."

"What can we do?" John asked gently.

"We can find him and protect him when the time comes."

John smiled, "Carson and I came back to Earth with the intention of finding Harry. With my connection to him and your sight we just might be able to pull it off."

Luna nodded slowly, "We need three more people plus we five. We need Jack to come with us. We have to go to D.C. and get him. And Remus. He's in London."

John nodded, "Okay, and the other? Is it Prince?"

Luna grimaced, "I can't believe I'm going to say this."

John tilted his head, "Who?"

"Dudley Dursley."

"What? Why?" John demanded.

"I have no idea," Luna said, "I can't imagine how he will possibly aide us, but he will. I can tell."

"I trust you. I trust your gift," John said to her, "After we find Jack and Remus we'll go to Sheffield and get Dudley."

"Sorry, who is Dudley?" Carson interrupted.

"We can have introductions and explanations later. We have to get to D.C. Jenny, you coming?" Luna asked.

"Sure."

"How will we travel? By car?" John wondered aloud.

Luna rolled her eyes, "John, you forget that you're in the company of a witch and a wizard."

Carson shook his head, "But we need more than two people to create a portkey."

Luna smiled, "Not a problem, because I've already got one. Harry made it for me," she extended her right wrist and pointed to a red bracelet, "It's not tuned to a location, it's tuned to a person. It'll take me directly to Jack."

"Isn't that a bit risky?" John asked, "He could be anywhere. We could be seen by muggles."

Luna rolled her eyes again, "John, please. We can make ourselves invisible."

Carson disillusioned John and himself, while Luna disillusioned the other two women. At Luna's instruction, they all took hold of her bracelet. Once she was sure everyone was ready, she disillusioned herself and activated the portkey. They landed in an office. General O'Neill was alone and humming to himself as he rapidly flipped through a report he was reading.

"Boring. That sentence is a fragment. Boring, boring, boring."

"Hi, Jack!"

"Augh!" He dropped the report and almost fell out of his chair, "Luna? Damn it, don't do that."

Luna canceled the spell on everyone and smiled unrepentantly at Jack, "Sorry about that."

"Hello, Luna. And friends," He rose from his chair, "Dr. Beckett, Colonel Sheppard, I can guess why you're here. I see you've gotten roped into this as well, Lt. Hailey."

She smiled, "Yes, sir."

"This is Teyla Emmagen. Teyla, this is General O'Neill."

"General."

"Welcome to Earth, Teyla. So, what brings you all to my office?"

"How do you feel about going on a quest, Jack?"

He raised an eyebrow, "A quest? What are we looking for? The Holy Grail? The Arc of the Covenant? A city made of pure gold? A device made by aliens to travel to distant worlds?"

"Have you been watching Indiana Jones again?" Luna demanded.

"No!" Jack denied, "But seriously, where are we going?"

"To find Harry."

Jack's good humor evaporated, "Count me in," he picked up the phone on his desk and dialed a number, "This is O'Neill. Ms. Lovegood and I are going somewhere to do something. I need you to rely this to the appropriate people. Oh, and Lt Colonel John Sheppard, Lt. Jennifer Haily, Dr. Carson Beckett and Teyla Emmagen will be with us as well. See that everything is taken care of."

"Jack, we'll need an international portkey with no predetermined destination."

Jack relayed the request before hanging up the phone, "They need an hour. Luna, you told me that no one had seen Harry since Dumbledore and Snape liberated Grimmauld Place over a month ago."

Luna nodded, "That's correct. He left Hermione Granger's room and was seen by two people before he disappeared."

"Who?"

"Molly Weasley and Kingsley Shacklebolt."

John frowned, "We should speak with them and find out if he said or did anything unusual. Wait, he didn't see Prince and Albus?"

Luna shook her head.

"But that doesn't make since. The headquarters of the Order had been under siege and Prince had gone to Sheffield to see if I was there. If for some reason he didn't seek them out, they would definitely have sought him out. They would want to make sure he was all right and to tell him that I'd returned to Atlantis. He wouldn't leave without talking to one of them."

"Maybe he didn't leave willingly?" Teyla suggested.

Jack shook his head, "If there was someone strong enough to overpower him,"

"Which isn't likely," Luna interrupted.

"Then he wouldn't have gone quietly. No, John is right. It's odd that he didn't speak to Dumbledore or Snape."

Lt. Hailey frowned, "Snape?"

"Severus Snape," Luna said, "We used to call him Prince. John, you bring up a good point. I didn't think of it, but you're right. Something must have happened to make him leave without speaking to either of them," She paused, "Or maybe he did talk to them."

"But why would they keep it to themselves?" John asked.

"They're full of secrets, those three," Luna said quietly.

"We'll ask them when we see them," Jack said firmly, "We have to go to Britain anyway, we might as well look them up while we're there."

"I'll send word to Remus, Severus and Albus and ask that they meet us at the Monastery. Maybe they'll be able to retrieve Dudley for us," Luna said quietly, "With your permission, Dr. Beckett. I think your brother would like to see you. And it's a lucky starting place for a quest."

/\ \/ /\ \/ /\

Harry Potter lay on his back on a table with four people looming over him and staring at him. They examined him with muggle tools, but none of them pierced his skin.

/\ \/ /\ \/ /\

John was vaguely surprised they didn't end up as a tangle of limbs when they landed at the gates of the Monastery from their portkey journey. He was pleased he'd managed to remain on his feet. Luna helped Jack up from his prone position on the ground and he pretended not to notice her smile. John took a step towards the entrance to the Monastery, but stopped where he saw the sheer number of people gathered there. There were people everywhere and they were staring at the arriving group. Some were crying with something akin to hope in their eyes and others were smiling and waving excitedly. Carson and Luna looked surprised by the gathering, but not fearful. Luna organized the group into a line and beckoned the people that had gathered. The people silently formed a line and walked pass the group, stopping to address each person and wish them luck or offer them a family charm. John lost count of the number of people that shook his hand, hugged him or kissed him. All of them begged him to find Harry, to bring back their Savior. John kept looking in Luna's direction and hoping she would give him some clue about how these people even knew about the quest, but she was always completely focused on the person in front of her. The first person John encountered that he recognized was Brother Euan.

"The Monastery is a good starting place for a quest," He said by way of a greeting, "I've missed you. It is a weight off my shoulders to see that you are well."

John returned the hug Brother Euan offered, "What is all this about? Why are these people here?"

"To wish you well on your quest."

"Well, yes, but how do they know about the quest?"

"Formed questing parties are automatically registered and recorded with the Ministry of Magic, so they know the members of your quest and the ultimate goal."

"The Ministry hasn't exactly been friendly to me or Harry in the past."

Brother Euan nodded, "But they can't interfere in this. It's forbidden. Even Bellatrix won't dare to interfere in your quest. It would be a serious insult against the pureblood traditions she holds so dear."

"Oh. Oh! I need to tell you something. It never occurred to me until after I'd left the Monastery."

"What?"

"I know your brother."

Brother Euan was puzzled for a moment, "My Brother?" He shook his head slowly, "You cannot mean Carson."

"I do."

"You know Carson?"

John smiled. "I do," He leaned forward and pointed down the line past Luna and Jen, "And he's right there."

John watched as Brother Euan completely bypassed the two women to stand before his brother. They embraced fiercely and John felt a surge of happiness like nothing since he'd returned to Atlantis. With a smile, he turned to face the next person come to wish them well. Walden Mungo shook his hand, slipping a small vile into it.

"It's a strong healing draught. My sister brewed it for your quest to find Harry. Eleanor and I played stone, parchment, skissor to determine which one of us could come to this. Maybe you know of it, it's a muggle game. My uncle would only permit one of us to go."

"Thank you for coming."

A gaggle of people passed, including quite a few people that identified themselves as Weasley's. He spoke briefly with Molly Weasley. She confirmed that she had seen Harry exit Hermione Granger's room and that he'd stopped only long enough to tell her that he and Hermione were both uninjured. Seeming to appear from nowhere, John suddenly found himself meeting the cold gaze of Prince. Severus, he mentally corrected himself. Severus offered an expression that was more smile than sneer. He leaned towards John.

"He's my family. I need him. It might not seem like it, but I do. I couldn't love him more if he was my own son instead of my sister's," he whispered.

"We'll find him."

"No, but you might."

John watched Severus as he approached Luna and considered his words. No, but you might. He wondered what Prince meant by that. A polite cough returned his attention to the next person, Albus Dumbledore. He wasn't surprised to see Albus and Severus together now that the younger man's allegiances were publicly known.

Albus smiled, "Hello, my boy."

"Albus, I need to ask you something."

"Please do."

"Did you see Harry before he left Grimmauld Place?"

"Yes."

John blinked in surprise at the admission, "Did he say anything to you? Did he tell you where he was going?"

"Yes, but if you take Remus there he will tell you that Harry has killed himself."

"I don't understand."

Albus sighed, "The first time Harry tried to go through the Veil, Remus prevented him. Before Harry left Grimmauld Place he told Severus and I that he thought everyone was wrong about the Veil. He told me he thought it was Ancient technology that disguised a place where people went to wait for the proper understanding so they could ascend."

"Do you think Harry tried to ascend?"

"Do you?" Albus countered.

"No."

"I don't either. Severus feels the same way. We think he went to try and remove his godfather from the Veil, assuming that it is what he thinks it is. He swore to both of us that under no circumstances would he enter the Veil. Whatever has happened to him, I do not believe that Veil to be the cause of it. However, it may very well have occurred inside the Department of Mysteries."

"That's part of the Ministry. We can't just go in there."

Albus smiled, "Of course not, but as a visiting diplomat General O'Neill and his staff may very well be granted a tour. Good luck, John," He leaned forward and gave John a kiss on the forehead that sent a strange tingling feeling all the way down to his toes before he moved on to speak with Luna.

Dudley Dursley took his place, only John didn't recognize him at first. The young man was in good shape and dressed in nice trousers with a collared shirt and tie. He looked more curious than afraid of his surroundings. He smiled at John.

"I was going to talk to a recruiter. I was thinking RAF. My mum said I look sharp, but I feel a little foolish dressed like this now. I stand out like a sore thumb," he admitted quietly.

Joh smiled, "RAF? Really?"

"Yeah," Dudley admitted, "I'm trying to get my life together. I want to be a better man than my father. The Headmaster told me you need my help because Harry's gone missing. Is that true?"

John nodded, "It is. Are you willing to give it?"

Dudley nodded without a second thought, "Yes. How can I help?"

Luna gave Dudley a mild look of disapproval before joining the conversation, "Stand here between John and I and try not to insult anyone that comes to wish us well."

Dudley followed her instructions, "I'll do my best, Ms. Lovegood."

John watched Dudley out of the corner of his eye for a few minutes, but Luna's concerns about his rudeness turned out to be unnecessary. He was perfectly polite to everyone who passed him. He graciously accepted all charms and trinkets offered to him, even the strange and magical ones.

The next person John recognized was Narcissa Malfoy. Without bothering to speak, she pulled him into a fierce embrace and kissed both of his cheeks. With a blinding smile, she gestured to the young man beside her.

"You remember my son, Draco. Were you ever introduced to his wife Virginia?"

John grinned, "Not officially. It's nice to meet you, Mrs. Malfoy."

"Please, call me Ginny," she said hastily, "I broke into Harry's rooms at Hogwarts to get this. It might be useful and I don't think he'll mind if you borrow it. Open the bag later," she said as she handed him a plain paper bag.

"What's in it?"

"Luna knows what it is," Ginny said, "Good luck and stay safe."

The women moved on, but Draco lingered a moment and offered John two business cards, "If you toss this into a floo it sort of works like a muggle pager. I'll be alerted how to reach you. The second one is for my father. He asked me to pass it along in addition to his regrets about not being able attend. Use it if you need anything. Anything at all."

"I will."

The last person to pass through and offer his greetings was Ron Weasley. He was paler than ever and had dark circles under his eyes. He stared at John for a long moment before speaking throatily.

"Harry was all that kept me going after what happened to Hermione. I'm sure people have come and told you how much the need the savior and the boy-who-lived. They need him to be their symbol. They need him to have hope," he said with a tone of disgust, "And maybe I should be more sympathetic of that. But that isn't why I want him back. I want him back because he's Harry."

"I understand."

Ron turned his face away and struggled for a moment to keep himself controlled, "Remus asked me to pass along a message. He's too weak from the last full moon. He said he'll join you when he's well and not to wait for him."

Ron hugged Luna and nodded politely to everyone else before leaving. Wearing more amulets around his neck than anyone could count, Jack stepped forward.

"So what now? We aren't knights, we have no horses and really no idea where to look."

"I have an idea where we can begin. Harry did speak to Prince and Albus before he left Grimmauld Place."

"What did he say?" Luna asked.

"Harry went to the Veil to rescue his godfather."

"No," a weak voice whispered from behind him, "No! No, it can't be." Leaning heavily on a cane, Remus approached the group, "That would be suicide. He wouldn't do that."

Luna went to his side and took hold of his elbow to offer him support, "You shouldn't be up and about yet, Remus."

Remus shook his head, "I'm well enough. John, you must be mistaken. Harry knows that would be suicide. Albus would never permit it!"

"Harry thought it was Ancient technology. He thought it was a place where people went to seek enlightenment so they could ascend to a higher plane of existence. I believe Teyla and I have encountered this before in the Pegasus galaxy."

Dudley frowned, "Sorry, where?"

"I'll come back to that in a minute. The point is, Harry may very well be correct. Sirius Black might be alive."

Remus' face tightened, "No. This isn't happening. Not again. Not again. I can't have abandoned him again."

"Remus," John said gently, "Harry promised Albus he wouldn't enter the Veil under any circumstances. Albus thinks that whatever happened to him happened there, but had nothing to do with the Veil."

"He's talking about Sirius," Luna said quietly.

Remus leaned heavily on his cane and covered his face with his free hand as he sobbed. John remembered hearing that they had both been part of the same gang during school, the Marauders. He remembered what Harry had written about his godfather in the letter. Sirius was arrested, thrown in jail without a trial and left to rot for the next thirteen years. People were horrified, but not surprised. He was a Black, after all. No one had known about the switch in the secret keeper spell, so Remus must have spent all those years thinking that his friend was guilty of murdering their other friend. He'd gotten Sirius back, his one remaining friend, only to witness his death at the hands of Bellatrix Lestrange a few years later.

Remus made his way over to a bench where he sat and stared blankly at his feet. Luna watched him for a moment before turning back to the others.

"We need a plan on how to get into the Ministry."

"General O'Neill is technically a visiting diplomat. He might be granted a tour," John said, "Albus suggested that would be the best way to get into the Ministry."

Jack nodded slowly, "Good idea. And call me Jack."

Luna spoke again, "I'll see what I can arrange. Jack, you'll need to come with me."

"Okay."

Luna hesitated, "Carson…"

He nodded, "I'll examine Remus and see if I can't convince him to rest."

John watched as Luna and Jack went into the Monastery and Carson went to check on Remus. After a moment, Teyla followed Carson and observed as he spoke with Remus. John was left standing outside the Monastery with Jen and Dudley. Dudley scuffed his foot against the ground.

"So, the Pegasus galaxy?"


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer**: Not Mine

This story is the sequel for **Of Misery and Mystery.** I recommend reading that story first.

This story contains **slash**. It is a **crossover** between HP and SGA.

Thanks to my beta,** Phoenix Catcher,** for taking time out of his busy schedule to help.

I'm sorry for the delay. I've been out of control busy.

I hope you like it. **Please review!**

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**Of Journeys and Justifications**

**Chapter Two**

Even as they entered the Ministry of Magic in London, John Sheppard half wondered if their plan would succeed. He and Jack donned their dress uniforms and everyone else dressed in muggle suits. John had never been very comfortable in the fancy uniform. He stayed in the middle of the group and kept close to Carson. The other man seemed to sense his discomfort, but didn't speak to him about it. In the time since he had returned to Atlantis from Earth, Carson had quickly become one of his closest and most trusted friends.

The group was met by three men, one was unfamiliar, one resembled the Weasleys he'd met and the other startled him so much that John almost bumped into Dudley as he took a step back. Both Teyla and Carson noticed. Carson casually shifted so that he was standing partially in front of John. Teyla tensed and shifted into a subtle stance. She was ready to attack or defend at any provocation. John caught Teyla's glance and shook his head. Teyla relaxed slightly, but was still wary. Her eyes were glued to the man that had startled John.

The Weasley look-a-like sneered openly at Luna and Remus and spoke cuttingly to Jack, "Welcome to the Ministry of Magic. I am Percival Weasley, Deputy Undersecretary to the Minister of Magic."

"Thank you for that gracious welcome," Jack replied cordially.

Percival's eyes narrowed at him, "Don't think we don't know why you're here, General, bold as day with known Order members."

Jack ignored the comment and kept his tone polite, "Will you be leading the tour, Deputy Undersecretary Weasley?"

Percival turned up his nose, offended by the inquiry, and replied pompously, "I have much more important things to spend my time on."

"I imagine you do," Remus said mildly, "There is a war going on after all."

Percival sneered at Remus like he was something unpleasant stuck to the bottom of his shoe, "Aurors Kingsley Shacklebolt and John Dawlish will be conducting your tour," he paused and called over his shoulder before striding away, "your abridged tour."

John felt his heart beat increase and knew when he noticed Jack glancing at him out of the corner of his eye that the older man had picked up on his anxiety as well. He forced himself to relax.

Kingsley Shacklebolt turned to John Dawlish. "I've got this one, John. I know some of these people. They won't cause trouble. Unless I am very much mistaken, that gentleman is Carson Beckett."

John grinned in obvious relief, "Yeah? It's an honor to meet you, Healer Beckett. I hope you all enjoy the tour," he turned to Kingsley and whispered, "Thanks, mate, I hate giving tours," before jogging off.

Jack turned to Carson, "What's that about?"

Carson hesitated for a moment, "After my sister was murdered I became a known figure protesting the war through public acts of nonviolent demonstration. I did all sorts of bizarre things to protest the Death Eaters wiping out entire families. I wanted to destroy any sympathy regular people might have for their cause."

John avoided meeting Kingsley Shacklebolt's gaze, but combined with being back in the Ministry of Magic once again it did little to stop his memory.

_J__ohn was nearly asleep when the door opened and two men walked in. Before he could lift his head enough to see them, they began to beat him. The first blow sent him backwards in the chair and they beat him until the chair he was bound to was reduced to scraps. One of the men lingered after the beating finished. He knelt beside John and slipped his wand into the other man's hand._

"_Tighten your grip," He whispered urgently._

_John tightened his grip around the wand underneath the other man's hand. He tried to turn his head to look at the other man, but the movement caused a sharp pain in his head that convinced him remaining still was the best option._

"_Repeat after me. My name is Jonathon Franklin Sheppard. I am an American Citizen. I need to see someone from the American Embassy. I am being detained illegally. I've been forced to take veritaserum and received inhumane treatment. I am in danger."_

_John repeated the phrase._

_The man pocketed his wand and stood slowly, "You need to use a specific phrase and have a wand in order for the request to be heard by the American Embassy."_

"_I'm a muggle," John admitted._

"_I know. That's why I held the wand with you. They'll be here for you soon. I- I'm sorry for your pain."_

He forced himself to push the memory aside. He was an Order member. Harry had sent him to help and he'd done the only thing he could to get to John and help him. John met his gaze steadily and without any anger or blame in his expression. Kingsley nodded to him before turning to Luna and smiling at her.

"Remus. Luna. Where to?"

"The Department of Mysteries. Can you get us there?" She hesitated for half a second, "Without risking your cover."

"Will going there help you find Harry?" he asked quietly.

Luna nodded.

"Then don't worry about me," He said firmly, "Let's go."

They followed Kingsley into the elevator and Jack positioned himself beside John and asked him quietly, "What is it?"

"A misunderstanding. It's fine," John assured him.

"Kings," Luna spoke up, "Did you see Harry before he left Grimmauld Place?"

Kingsley nodded, "Briefly. I told him that Major Sheppard had somehow escaped from the Ministry on his own. He told me that Snape had gone to Sheffield to look for the Major."

"Did he say anything else?" Luna asked hopefully.

Kingsley shook his head, "Sorry, no."

The group exited the elevator at Level Nine and stopped in the Entrance Room. It was a large circular room lit by blue flames and devoid of anything except unmarked doors. Kingsley's turned to Remus and Luna again.

"Where to?"

"The Death Chamber. The Veil," Luna said quietly.

Kingsley looked at Luna for a long moment. He tried to speak, but after a moment he shook his head and led them through one of the doors and into a large chamber. In the center of the chamber was a raised dais with a stone archway. A tattered black cloth hung from the archway. Luna walked around the chamber and stopped at a particular spot and looked at the archway.

"I stood here with Rodolphus Lestrange's wand digging into my throat as Lucius Malfoy tried to force Harry to give him the prophecy sphere. We all almost died here. We were so young."

Remus stepped up beside her and slipped his hand into hers and stared at the Veil as well. Dudley seemed unaffected by the Veil, but everyone else was staring at it. Finally, Teyla broke the silence.

"Does anyone else hear those whispers?"

"The Veil always does that," Kingsley said.

John took a few steps closer to the Veil, "Can anyone make out what they're saying?"

He took a few steps closer until he was almost within reach of it. It was similar enough to the Ancient sanctuary that he could imagine it was the same technology. He looked over his shoulder to Luna and Remus. Remus was still staring at the Veil and Luna was walking around the room, dragging her fingertips against the wall.

John turned his attention back to the Veil, "Hello? Sirius Black? Are you there?"

"Well where the hell else would I be? I'm not exactly ascension material, you know," an annoyed voice rose above the other whispers, "Are you going to let me out or what?"

"How do I do that?"

"Harry came here," Luna announced.

"I'll be right back," John whispered to the Veil. He moved to stand beside Luna as she stood before dais. "What happened?"

"Did he enter the Veil?" Remus asked quietly.

"What's through the Veil?" Dudley whispered to Jen.

"It's thought to be the afterlife," Jen whispered back.

"No," Luna confirmed, "Something," she shook her head, "I-"

"She's going into trance," Jen warned as Luna's eyes lost focus, "I've seen her do this before. Give her a minute. Don't distract her."

Everyone stared at Luna silently. Her eyes glazed over and her face turned up towards the ceiling and she spoke in a rasping voice.

"I don't know what I'm seeing," Luna said after a moment, "I don't understand it. What kind of magic is this? He came here and something attacked him from behind."

She shook her head and blinked to refocus her eyes. Her vision cleared in time for her to see Jack disappear with a flash of bright light. She turned to John, but he was gone as well. A moment later she felt a strange sensation in her belly before she was standing in between John and Jack on what she immediately identified as some kind of spaceship. A creature that vaguely resembled a house elf blinked his large dark eyes and studied the three humans before him.

"Cool!" Luna exclaimed.

Jack wasn't as amused, "Thor, what's the deal?"

"General O'Neill, Colonel Sheppard, Ms. Lovegood. I have brought you here to request your aid in locating Harry Potter. I have been unable to find him on your planet. Where has he gone?"

Jack hesitated, "Why are you looking for him, Thor?"

Thor turned to Jack, "Colonel Sheppard, do you remember when we were attacked by the Wraith?"

Wary at the mention of the Wraith, John nodded, "I remember."

"We were near the galaxy of Ida. My people discovered the ship we encountered was only an advance scout for a small armada of ships. The Wraith had been in hibernation, but after we destroyed their scout ship, they all woke. Since then my people have been preparing for an assault by these Wraiths and it has finally arrived. However their target is not my people or our protected planets. Their target is a planet populated with the only known remaining descendants of the ancients. They are aware of Harry Potter and I came here to warn him that they might attempt to solicit his aid. They may take him with them regardless of his consent."

"The Wraith have the ability to travel outside the Pegasus galaxy?" John asked.

"This force of Wraith set off from the Pegasus galaxy not long after the Ancients abandoned Atlantis. They do not have the ability to reach the Ida or even your galaxy in any shorter period of time."

"Thor," Jack said slowly, "Harry's missing. Do you think these people might already have him?"

"It is possible," Thor admitted, "They indicted to me that they would wait until I had spoken to him, but the their situation is dire. You have no need to fear for his safety. They are a peaceful people. They only want his help battling the Wraith."

Jack glanced at John and Luna, "What do you think?"

Luna turned her gaze to John, "It's your decision"

"Me?" His gaze automatically went to Jack as the superior officer.

"You're the leader of our quest," Luna said simply, "You're Harry's lover."

John froze and forced himself not to look panic stricken towards Jack. He was sure the man was aware of his relationship with Harry, but it was different than outright saying it to him.

"Don't worry about it, John," Jack said simply.

Luna looked back and forth between John and Jack for a minute, "Is this a cultural thing? Remus once told me that muggles have strange phobias of sex, but I thought he was teasing me."

"Don't worry about it, Luna, but don't go around broadcasting John and Harry's relationship," Jack said.

Still looking baffled, Luna nodded, "Okay. Are we going to the Ida galaxy, John?"

John frowned, "Luna, how much do you know about this type of thing?"

Luna grinned, "More than Harry thinks I do. Are we going?"

John nodded, "It's worth checking out. Thor, are you willing to transport us?"

"I am."

"First let's see what we can do about Sirius. Thor, can you send us back?"

Thor inclined his head, "I can. I will monitor the situation so you need only call to me when you are prepared to depart."

Dudley startled slightly when they reappeared, but no one else seemed bothered by it. Kingsley looked curious, however, and stepped aside to question Luna about something to do with wards. John left Jack to explain about their new travel plans while he approach the Veil again. He waited for a moment.

"Sirius? Are you still there?"

"Yes. Are you going to let me out before I get grey hair?"

"How do I get you out?"

"How the hell should I know that?" Sirius grumbled.

John resisted the urge to roll his eyes. He looked behind him when he felt a hand on his shoulder. Carson smiled at him.

"Focus. You can get him out."

"How?"

"How do you fly a jumper?" Carson asked rhetorically.

John closed his eyes for a moment before turning back towards the Veil. He opened his mind and directed his thoughts towards the Veil. Release Sirius Black. Release Sirius Black. Release Siriu-

A man stumbled out of the Veil, into John, and the pair tumbled down the stairs. A man with dark hair, bright blue eyes and an easy smile offered John a hand up.

"Sorry about that."

His smile slipped off his face when his gaze landed on Remus. He reached the other man in less than ten strides. Remus reached for Sirius. They clasped hands and a moment later Remus fainted so suddenly that Sirius was barely able to catch him. Sirius lifted him into his arms effortlessly. He looked around at the people in the room, and his gaze landed on Luna and Kingsley, the only two that he knew.

"How long has he been like this?"

Kingsley sighed, "We thought you were dead, Sirius. The Veil…. We didn't know. He didn't take it well. He doesn't take care of himself at all. Harry was the only thing keeping him going. Since Harry disappeared, he hasn't taken his Wolfsbane consistently."

"Sirius," Luna interrupted, "Did you see what happened to Harry?"

Sirius shook his head, "No. I couldn't see out of the sanctuary. I was talking to him. I think someone else came into the chamber. And then nothing. Harry was gone. I've remained at the doorway waiting, hoping he would come back. Are you all looking for Harry? Who are all you people anyway?"

Remus stirred in his arms, but didn't open his eyes.

Carson shook his head, "He can't take much more of this. He needs rest."

Sirius stared at Remus' face for a long moment, "I'll take him back to Grimmauld Place before I join you on your quest."

John spoke up softly, "Remus isn't well. Perhaps you should remain with him."

"Who the hell are you?" Sirius demanded.

Luna said something in the Old Tongue. Her words were rushed and her voice was soft enough that John didn't catch it. Sirius's eyes bugged out.

"What?"

"Sirius, don't," Luna said, "We will find Harry. You should take care of Remus. He needs you."

"Luna is right. He never should have joined us in the first place. He isn't well enough," Carson said. He looked to Sirius, "I'm a healer. If he doesn't rest and recover his strength, he'll need to be sent to St. Mungo's."

Sirius looked at Remus' pale face again and was genuinely torn. John could see that plainly. He wanted to join the search for his godson, but he was afraid to leave his friend.

"There are rumors of a similar ailment among my people," Teyla suddenly spoke up, "Perhaps I can offer some assistance."

Sirius closed his eyes for a moment before nodding, "Kings, can you get us back to Grimmauld Place? And maybe explain to me what the hell has happened in my absence?"

Kingsley nodded, "Sure."

Sirius' dark eyes met John's gaze, "I'm holding you personally responsible for this."

"Sirius-"

"You should have protected Harry," he continued without acknowledging Luna, "You should have been with him. What could possibly have been more important than your other half?"

"Sirius!" Luna objected once more.

John shook his head, "He's right, Luna. I should have been with Harry."

"You'd better find him," Sirius demanded.

"Sirius, you are too hasty," Luna insisted.

No one said anything and John couldn't help but wonder if Sirius was right. Would nothing have happened if he had been with Harry? Should he have fought harder to stay with Harry, consequences be damned? Would Harry agree with his godfather? By the time his focus returned to his surroundings Kingsley, Sirius and Remus were ready to depart. Teyla stood before him and took hold of his elbows.

"If I can help him, I must go."

"Of course. I'll see you soon…. Once we find Harry."

Still carrying Remus, Sirius left with Kingsley and Teyla. Luna slipped her hand into John's and squeezed, "He shouldn't have said that. He's having trouble adjusting to Harry being all grown."

"I shouldn't have left. It's too much for one person to deal with alone. I'm not a liability," John said with sudden conviction, "I can give him strength. I know I can."

Luna smiled. Carson, though he was looking in another direction and pretending that he wasn't listening in, smiled as well. Jack wasn't pretending not to notice their conversation, but something about their words seemed to distract him. His expression was confused and puzzled and John wondered what he was thinking about. His expression cleared before John could ask if he was okay.

"Everyone ready? Good. Thor!" He called.

The remaining members of the quest, John, Jack, Luna, Carson, Jen and Dudley joined Thor on his ship. Luna seated herself in a corner and began sketching in a notepad that she enlarged after removing from her back pocket. Dudley sat near her, glancing at her frequently and looking as though he wanted nothing more than to speak to her, but did not dare to interrupt her. Jen wandered around curiously, examining everything in sight, and Jack watched her with a fond smile. He was distracted again. John stood with Jack and Carson as Jack's attention returned to the here and now and he conversed with Thor, but John wasn't really paying attention. His mind wandered as he thought about Harry.

The first time he'd met Harry face to face he'd managed to become temporarily lost in the other's mind. It wasn't a pleasant experience for either of them. Since then, he'd been afraid of using such strength when trying to reach out to the other man. John excused himself and walked down the corridor and away from the others. He found a small room, an observation area, and studied the long expanse of emptiness that was visible. John threw caution to the wind and thought with all his energy in Harry's direction.

**Harry? Harry, can you hear me?**

There was no response, but abruptly he found himself recalling something with such sharp detail that it was like he was experiencing the memory for the first time.

_John studied Harry quietly. Harry was curled up in an armchair near the fire and sipping tea as he flipped through some kind of report. John was utterly occupied with watching him. He shifted and his blanket slipped down to his waist. He didn't bother to readjust it. He carelessly brushed a tendril of hair out of his range of vision. John felt a sharp surge of desire for him, but did not interrupt him. He focused on the skin directly below his ear and thought about sucking on it. Harry smiled as he turned another page. After a moment his hand brushed the spot on his neck that was occupying John's attention. He spoke without looking away from the page._

_"Are you enjoying yourself sufficiently or would you actually like to do that to me?"_

_"What?"_

_Harry met his gaze, and offered a grin that made John's heart skip, "My neck. You want to do something to my neck rather badly. I can feel it. You want me."_

_John took a moment to enjoy the other man's smile before he replied, "Yes, I do."_

_Harry stood, leaving his reading and the blanket on the floor, "I want you too."_

_"Yeah?"_

_Harry nodded, suddenly serious, "I never want to be apart from you. I want to know you in every way possible and I want you to know me that way as well."_

_Harry had moved forward as he spoke and he now stood within arm's reach of John. He took a final step forward and John's arms moved to encircle his waist. Harry pressed a kiss to his throat. John closed his eyes and enjoyed the feeling of being close to the other man. Seized by a sudden fervor, Harry's gentle kiss changed to insistent sucking and his teeth grazed John's skin. _

_They did not attempt to experience the same mental connection as the previous evening. They did not even make it to a bedroom. Standing not far from the fireplace, Harry insistently went to work on John's clothes and John returned the favor. Once nude, they faced each other on their knees and kissed languidly. John cupped Harry's face and brushed a few unruly dark locks aside. As John leaned forward, Harry slowly shifted back on his heels. Harry sat down fully and leaned back on his elbows as John followed him._

_John kissed him swiftly on the lips before whispering, "Don't move." He disappeared into Harry's room and returned with a small jar. He knelt in the space between Harry's legs and coated his fingers with the substance from the jar. The muscles in Harry's thighs quivered as John prepared him and he was utterly entranced. He ran his free hand down the inside of Harry's thigh. He was absorbed in his task until abruptly Harry was pulling away from him. He looked at the other man for a moment before he was being pushed on his back. Harry positioned himself above John._

_"I want to try it this way."_

_John nodded in surprised silence. Harry worried his bottom lip as he slowly impaled himself. He didn't move for a time._

_"You okay?" John whispered._

_Harry nodded and a moment later he rolled his hips forward and John moaned. His hands roamed over whatever parts of Harry he could reach. It seemed like barely any time had passed before it was over and Harry was slumping towards his chest. John moved them onto their sides and slowly eased out of Harry. Harry shifted and put his hand atop John, interlacing their fingers._

_"How was that?"_

_"Nice. Very nice," John murmured. He felt himself drifting towards sleep, but realizing that Harry was watching him he forced his eyes open._

_"I want to do that the other way tomorrow."_

_"You want me to be on top?" John stifled a yawn._

_Harry studied him, "I don't care where you are… on top or on bottom… but I want to be inside you."_

_John yawned again, "Sounds good to me."_

_"Really?" Harry's voice was colored with faint surprise._

_John pulled Harry close to him with one hand and with the other he reached towards the chair and for the blanket Harry had discarded. John intertwined their limbs and covered their bodies with the blankets._

_"How can I expect you to allow me to do something to you if I will not allow you to do it to me? That's hardly fair or polite." John closed his eyes._

_Harry was quiet for a moment, "Will you enjoy it?"_

_John opened his eyes, "Are you worried about it?"_

_"Maybe a little," Harry admitted sheepishly._

_John pressed his face into Harry's neck, "Don't. I don't have a preferred position for sex. I think it's more about the mood we're in at the time, you know. It's situational. What exactly are you worried about?"_

_"Today wasn't too bad," Harry said softly, "But yesterday…" _

_"I'm sorry," John whispered against his throat._

_"No, it's not that," Harry said quickly, "Will it be that uncomfortable for you?"_

_"No. Are you worried that I'll be in pain?"_

_"I've never done it before… what if I do something wrong and hurt you?"_

_There was such anxiety in Harry's voice that John shifted so he could look him in the eye. His concerned expression was so endearing that John kissed him. "We can go slow."_

_"You'll tell me if I hurt you?"_

_John nodded. Harry relaxed and John returned on his previous position. John felt Harry's fingers twirling the ends of his hair. _

_"The thought of you being hurt makes me a little crazy," Harry admitted quietly._

_"I've noticed," John was equally gentle. He didn't appreciate it when Harry sent him away, but he didn't think that anger was the right approach. _

_"I need you to be safe. You're not a wizard and your ancient powers aren't developed enough to protect you. I'm not safe for you."_

_ "My soul wouldn't have responded to yours if that were true."_

_"My world isn't safe for you," Harry amended. _

_"Have you considered that perhaps we are safest when we are together?"_

_"No," he admitted, "But I will."_

As Harry and John fell asleep, the memory abruptly left John. He remained where he was in the observation room or for a long time.

"Why that memory?"

**/\ \/ /\ \/ /\**

Harry could vaguely comprehend what was going on around him, outside. He didn't know where he was. They were examining him again. He didn't remember how he got there. He barely remembered who he was. He fought to remember, screaming silently, and he remembered a man. He remembered John.

**/\ \/ /\ \/ /\**

Unable to stand being alone any longer, John went back. The others were much as he had left them. Luna was still sketching, but she had caught onto Dudley watching her. Every few minutes she'd raise her eyes and glare at Dudley until he looked away. Dudley looked away until her attention was back on her notebook. He wondered what Dudley would say to her if he had the chance. Jen was still moving around and investigating like a kid in a candy store. Every now and then she'd call out a question in Thor's direction and the alien would answer pleasantly. He seemed used to it. Jack was still preoccupied. He rolled his eyes every time Jen asked a question. Carson was in deep conversation with Thor about the possibilities of using magic to fight the wraith. Thor was fascinated by Caron's experiments and listened to his in-depth explanations with rapt attention. He barely even blinked. He looked away only to answer Jen's questions. When that happened, Carson's attention turned to Luna. Curiously, John looked in Luna's direction. She looked up and smiled at him.

"We have reached the Ida galaxy. We are approaching the planet Tarrall," Thor announced.

John sat beside Dudley, "How are you doing?"

He shrugged, "I'm fine. This is actually kind of interesting. Do Americans have the monopoly on this kind of work?"

John shook his head, "No."

"Everything my parents ever told me was a lie or a foolish myth is true. I never believed in anything except what I saw with my own eyes. I was selfish and cruel. I thought people that believed in those things were freaks. They were abnormal. They were foolish, but I was the one who was foolish. There are so many amazing things," he quieted, "I don't want to go back to my old life."

"Then don't."

"Is it that simple?" Dudley wondered aloud.

"Yes. You told me that you wanted to be a better man than your father. Here you sit in awe of things that your father would despise. You're already on that path."

Thor spoke, "We have arrived."

Dudley and John stood and joined Thor. Luna put away her sketchbook and Jen ceased her investigations. There was a bright flash and a young woman appeared. She looked like an average human and was wearing a simple dress. She smiled at Thor. He alone did not seem surprised by her presence.

"Welcome, friend."

Thor bobbed his head. Her bright green eyes swept the room. She looked at Carson, Jack and then John. Her gaze remained on John and she smiled hopefully.

"Harry Potter?"

John blinked in surprise, "No. I'm John Sheppard."

She was surprised as well, "The gene is strong in you as well. And both of you," she looked at Jack and Carson for a moment, "Are you here to assist is? Will Harry Potter be joining you?"

"Thera," Thor spoke, "We thought perhaps you had solicited Harry Potter's aid. He has disappeared."

"We have not."

Jack wasn't convinced, "Really? We're under the impression that you were determined to get his help, even against his will."

She didn't deny his accusation. She didn't even seem troubled by it. "I have no reason to lie to you. If Thor did not return with him, we intended to plead our case to him in person and take whatever action was necessary from there."

Jack looked at Thor, "Can you scan the planet and check to see if Harry is there?"

Thor's gaze remained on Thera, "May I?"

She pursed her lips in displeasure and looked at Thor, "You think I would lie to you?"

"I do not."

Her expression relaxed, "We have nothing to hide."

Thor spent a few minutes at a console. Thera alternated between studying the three men with the ancient gene. John believed her that Harry wasn't on the planet even before Thor's scan confirmed it. He half hoped that he was wrong and Thor would announce that Harry was on planet. He sighed. Harry wasn't there and they were no closer to finding him.

"As I said," Thera spoke after Thor's confirmation, "You'll help us?"

John looked to Luna, but she shook her head, "It's your decision." He looked to Jack, who shrugged.

John looked at Thera. Her expression was calm, but he could see from her stance that she was worried. She was afraid. Her people were facing an onslaught from the Wraith and doubted they could defend themselves. He wanted nothing more than to press forward until he found Harry, but he knew Harry wouldn't deny these people his assistance and John found he couldn't either.

"What do you need us to do?"


End file.
